Dear Dave: Crawling

Hello David, this is the first time I have had to come out on this rather sensitive issue that robbed me of my confidence growing up. Today I’m still battling it but I’m also fighting very hard to go past it. 

Growing up, my dad used to be verbally abusive with my sibling and I. the words used by him are unprintable and hurtful in the same breath. It killed me inside and still does. A few I can readily recollect include (useless girl, foolish girl, stupid girl, buuluu, Kwashia, Ob3w3nm)

Till date, I still remember these words and cry. I always hid behind friends at events and was never confident. I had wanted to be a journalist, David! I never found my confidence to do so and that made me settle for PR which wouldn’t make me face the camera every time. I very recently started to coil out of my shell by taking part in church activities and its paying off even with that, one lady in my church remarked to my hearing that ‘why have I taken this task personal’? Can you imagine? 

It was bad during my days in senior high school that I’d have to tell my sitting partner the answer to a question asked in class. I’m gradually making my way out of those dark times and I hope I can do that completely. Parents, please stop killing us with your words… 

I’m almost 30 but I’m crawling in life because of these wrenching words.

Source David Bondze-Mbir
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