Dear Dave: Is he wasting my time?

Good evening David,

I have been dating this guy for about 4 years. We met in the Greater Accra region but he comes from the Eastern Region.

He is very secretive about our relationship and basically, only 2 of his housemates know that we are dating. We attend the same church but anytime we meet at church, we behave as strangers towards one other.

Meanwhile, after church I will be going to his house. I have heard rumors of him dating other ladies in church but anytime I confront him, it becomes an argument and we would not be on talking terms for days. 

My dilemma started when I got transferred to the Eastern region to work. Anytime he comes to the Eastern Region to visit his family and I want us to meet, he takes me to a hotel right in the vicinity in which he lives. This is a man that could not wait to introduce me to his family but because of the distance we could not make it. Now that I’m right here with his family, it’s another story. 

I know the vicinity in which he lives but don’t know his house. I have been here for three years and sometimes he comes straight to my place for visits but if he decides to go to his parents and I am to meet him, then we must meet in a hotel. It makes me feel very bad, like a prostitute. Besides, he is a very supportive partner; he has been there for me in my most difficult times both financially, emotionally and physically. But I really don’t see a future, as in we settling down.

Aside the hotel issue and he not wanting people to know we are dating, he is a good man. My family knows him and they are advising me to quit because he is wasting my time. My mom doesn’t meddle in my relationship issues but she called me and advised me to leave because she sees him not to be serious and that he will only waste my time. Please what do you think? Is he serious with me or he is wasting my time. Please help me out because I’m really confused and it’s kind of affecting the relationship.

Source David Bondze-Mbir
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